Yesterday afternoon I received a text from my sister. She was confused and sad about her blurry career and how she is unable to live up to her true potential. She was concerned with the burden of being left behind in a progressive environment which is still demeaning towards women in many ways and that’s terrifying. It was one of the thousand moments of self-doubt and continuous struggle that I could relate to as well. Personal struggle and development conflicts that may seem invisible against present concrete lavishes. From skills and education, we landed in the domain of independence and financial security. Our common enemy was fear, the fear of falling down while we, as women, have the utmost requisite to have wings.
WHAT IS FINANCIAL SECURITY?
What is financial security? The practical sense of confidence in your abilities, a roof over head and to have a source of income that manages your expenses considerably. Does it save us from pain and hurdles of life? The answer is no. Let me tell you, emotional defeat goes far behind when survival seems like the end of the world as soon as a major loss is endured. Dependency makes us vulnerable and weak. On the other hand, independence isn’t the cure, it’s a weapon to deal with offerings of life. Should men have these weapons? Of course! Should women have their weapons? Umm, no. They can use men as their shields or borrow their weapons. Okay but what if there is no man to feel safe around? Lady just die on the field, you will not survive without a man anyways in this region.
SELF-SUFFICIENCY IS NOT GENDER SPECIFIC
So, is financial security a lot to ask for a woman? Her need to work on her goals along her natural role of a nurturer, is it totally unacceptable? It does not matter if an ambitious woman is from a privileged or a mediocre background, self-sufficiency is the key to better understand ourselves and be able to perform efficiently within our roles. I do not imply matters of livelihood to be easy for men at all, but our league begins from the smallest and basic problems which further hinders our survival. Kind men who look out for their women are dignified in my eyes and I pray for them. On another note, unfortunately, our wrong doers are the blacked-souls from the prestigious-noble race and our pain does come from them.
SAY YES TO DESIRE BASED RELATIONSHIPS
Any independent man or woman holds the power to make better decisions because their choices are not enslaved by necessities of food and shelter. Additionally, their identities are not shaped by their fright of survival and haunting timelines anymore. Hence, choices should be based on love, respect and mutual bond that people share. Contrary to it, any relationship might become a monotonic equation of a provider-receiver scene. Whereas, it is not easy to always find an escape from oppression while being backless.
ARE MAN-LESS WOMEN LESS OF HUMAN BEINGS?
The problem does not lie with men having royal control in worldly matters, rather it is only the benevolent art of culprits’ manipulation of man-less women. Women have been blessed with household authority, that’s a false claim when her human rights have been snatched from her time and again. I understand in harmony that both genders have defined responsibilities and their challenges to maintain a balance in this Universe. But what should be the first instinct of a human who is deficient of the other partner? What to do when your supporter abandoned you or died? We find it normal for a man to take over his life in absence of a woman. Then why is it hard for society to swallow the sight of a woman trying to own her life personally and professionally? And society begins from home.
FINANCIAL SECURITY DOES NOT LEAD ASTRAY
Survival is a basic human instinct. Why should anybody be subjected to shame, restrictions, torture and abuse for the sake of food and shelter? What is wrong with equipping our girls to look out for themselves? Her feeble efforts to survive are stagnated with a modern blemish of our century, femi-nazism. If I want to be a strong mother and to protect myself from inflicted wounds over and over again, I cannot come to peace with the school of thought that considers this dangerous to any ethical code of our family centered culture. Do women like me conceal their jolting urges to trespass our moral limits and enter forward liberalism in the name of rights and freedom? No, we do not! As breathing individuals, we need food, shelter, utilities, comfort, peace, respect and safety to live in. It should be normal for anyone to make an effort and channel their lives as it suits them.
MALE GUARDIANSHIP VS MALE DICTATORSHIP
No man should confuse their male guardianship with male dictatorship. A guardian is supposed to guard from the nuisances of sick minds. His job is to love unconditionally and protect the women under his hood. I see women demanding the most basic rights such as the right to drive without being harassed, play without being molested and to have a decent job and not forced prostitution. From family members to neighbors, shopkeepers to teachers, employers to husbands… women have been afraid and alert. It’s my right to not be fearful while buying groceries. It is also my right to be heard without being rebuked or silenced. Whereas, it is certainly my right to not accept a beating from any man and stand up against him without being called a “rebel”.
WEAPONS TO FIGHT WITH
Will anyone be able to save themselves from a knife attack if they don’t possess something to counter-attack with? Similarly, financial security, independence and freedom are the tools for a life on this Earth. A woman can block torture and injustice if and only if she has the resources. Her resources maybe her supportive family and friends in best scenarios. But what about rest of the women? Their rescue missions should matter less or what? These basic demands of earning and owning their life fall in human rights category only. It’s tiring to witness women trying to flee and seek asylum from men who were supposed to nourish them with care. Examples of Princess Latifah, Princess Shumsa and Princess Haya of United Arab Emirates are a tip of the iceberg here. Since when can guardians be tyrannical?