I was reminded of my mother yesterday morning, this time sooner than the previous span of time-difference. Significant amount of pain always remains stuck with an event from our past. Unconsciously our brain clicks instants or whole chapters and saves them in our permanent memory. There is no need to escape them because there is no safe house to hide in. So let’s learn to pass through a “blast from the past” without any sort of embarrassment attached. The following routine helps me a lot, it might as well help anyone in sorrow…
1. STOP WATCHING OLD PICTURES RIGHT AWAY
Pictures can talk and forcefully rewind the scenes from your past. If you have accidentally landed on a picture that has leashed unbearably-sore memories, then just close it and do not scroll for more. In the heat of emotions, it would be difficult to stop but you have to try and ace it. Set aside your gadget right away!
2. CRY IT OUT
We need to let out some of the heart-wrenching thoughts. Shut lips and heavy eyes will only add to your misery. Cry, let it all out. A bathroom is a good escape if your room cannot be locked at the moment.
3. CALL A SIBLING/FRIEND
I praise good friends and loyal siblings. Without any shame or confusion, give them a call. A video call would be better to feel their comfort from across the screen. We sometimes restrain from doing so due to loss of words in agony. But your pacifier will understand, and their presence will provide you the courage to wipe your tear yourselves.
4. TALK TO AN IMAGINARY PSYCHOLOGIST
It works! As absurd and ridiculous it may sound, the feeling of being heard is a life savior. Bring your procrastination to fruitful use, imagine yourself in a clinic. Create your own psychologist and have a chat with them. Narrate your blast from the past to them. After a few times, you’ll begin to hear their counter-questions…Don’t worry you will not lose your sanity. (Don’t practice this everyday though XD)
5. SPLASH WATER ON THE BLAST FROM YOUR PAST
Your eyes and mind hurt right now. A few splashes of water will relax them and you’ll feel cleaner. It helps because after-crying appearance strangely determines your urge to cry more and more, even if your tear ducts have been empty. If you continue to look like a mess, it will make you feel more in the pit. Your physical efforts matter here. Try it out!
6. COMB YOUR HAIR
Next step to washing is tying your hair. Combed hair, neatly tied with a clean face will now help you feel better from the outside.
7. TALK TO YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR
Now for the inside you have to talk to yourself in the mirror. Your eyes maybe red, but you look tidy. This is the farewell session to the painful blast you had some hours ago. Talk to yourself about why does it hurt? When it hurt last time how different were you? Is there a plan to overcome its redundancy or you can live with it? Get the answers, try to ooze any bit of optimism and remember your decisions. Most importantly, shed the last bit of tears here.
8. PUT ON A MOVIE FOR A WHILE
You don’t have to watch a movie, just put it on and lie before the screen. Look at the characters, the scenery and basically what’s happening, quite casually. Relax your mind. This is an enjoyable list of movies to watch.
9. SLEEP ON IT
If you don’t suffer from depression and anxiety disorders, then it will be easier for you to fall asleep after a great deal of crying. Your body will begin to override aching memories in this phase.
10. TAKE A SHOWER
When you wake up, go take a shower. Do something fancy for yourself in there, put on a mask or shave your arms and legs. Put on nice clothes and some perfume.
Do whatever it takes to feel normal after a “blast from the past”. You are a human, regardless of your gender, you have the right to cry. As a favor to yourself, after having a moment of grief pick up yourself and move on with the day. Conclusively, it is important to recognize everyone’s specific mechanism to cope. What works for me in hours can take a day or more for you. Keep healing!