women Stigma: “She is the one to blame!”

Stigma: “She is the one to blame!”

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The moment we become sensible we hear this line “husband and wife are the wheel of the same car” and both of them have to hold on to the rope of compromise in order to keep their relationship going. But it is usually the woman who carries the heavy load of sacrifice and suffering. In this patriarchal society, male dominance is prevalent to the extent that no matter if the male member does something wrong to female, it is the woman who is to be blamed.

“Like a compass needle that points north, a man’s accusing finger always finds a woman.”

– Khaled Hosseini, A Thousand Splendid Suns

Unfortunately, the stigma of every wrongdoing is associated with woman.

If she is raped then it would be probably because of the size of her clothes as she would have tried to allure men to the extent that he gave in. Small innocent girls are rapped as they do the same. Isn’t it? Sounds insane!

If she is the one who became the victim of sexual assault then it would have been done to her with her consent. Why not any other girl became the target? Why only she? She probably had given some hints or signals to get abused. Isn’t it? How crazy!

If she is beaten up by her husband then probably she would have provoked him to hit her by her loud voice tone or doing something that he didn’t like and he had only this choice left with him to teach her a good lesson. She is the one to blame as she ignites his darker side. Isn’t it? Sounds ridiculous!

If she takes divorce as her husband is tempted to go to other women because he is so called “tharki” then it would be because of her as she cannot change the face she has every day to make it different and appealing for him. She only cooks delicious food for him, look after him, his home and children. This is not enough, it is her fault. She might have any deficiency in her that her husband left her. Isn’t it? How lustful of him and how foolish of people!

All of these statements portray the senseless attitude of our society which many women have to endure. No matter how much she had tried hard to protect her chastity, dignity, self-honor and marriage, she is held guilty. All her exertions go in vain if she is not recognized and admired the way she deserves.

Not all men do wrong to women as Allah has created a balance of virtue and evil. Same is the case with women that some of them might go astray but majority of the stories depict that women are not appreciated and most of them suffer from disgrace that they aren’t responsible for.

My advice for the women who bear assaults in silence is that they need to speak up for themselves as nobody would raise voice for them unless and until they take a stand. Stand for truth and the Creator will become your support. Secondly, my advice for the men who get indulged in malignant acts is to self-reflect, apologize to Almighty and choose to act wisely like a gentlemen who respect women at large and show up as the protector of women rather than becoming menace and insecure beings for them. Thirdly, Both husband and wife should consider, respect and admire the efforts done for their happiness rather than acting selfishly and using force for imposing their point.

All human beings are equally respectable, worthy and crucial what makes us different is our deeds and acts. Let’s try to make our existence soothing for others rather than threatening. DEEDS MATTER. FEAR THE CREATER IN YOUR DEALINGS.

May ALLAH guide us all!

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Asma Sajid
Asma Sajidhttps://www.siffar.com
The power of articulating your thoughts and emotions through words is a bliss. Realise that the power within you is greater than the power in the world.


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