“Eyes gazing with bewilderment at the intense wounds given, mind playing the recorded cassette of two tales: the inflicted pain and the early times of treatment as a fragile being. Tears dripping down the cheeks like crystal clear water flowing with no boundaries. Most wrenchingly, no one comes to soak the pain and wipe the tears making them vain.”
Domestic violence involves psychological, physical and emotional abuse patterns. Domestic Violence is for long a matter which cannot be resolved completely as evil lives side by side with virtue. The situation of domestic abuse have worsened due to the coronavirus pandemic lockdown. Globally, a surge in domestic violence cases has been observed. According to United Nation, there has been worldwide increase in domestic abuse by 20%. UN describes the surge in domestic violence as a “shadow pandemic” alongside Covid-19.
Back Story of Perpetrator
Brutality, maltreatment and abuse are the malignant acts from which many of the individuals suffer due to the vicious attitude of the perpetrator. Everybody has a back story, same goes for the one behaving abnormally. The abuser has usually suffered from ill treatment in the past or has seen his mother becoming a victim in the hands of her father, or either he has gone through some sort of mental strain which pulls him towards this inhumane treatment of his wife or children or both. But the logistics behind his actions does not make them acceptable and legal. Wrong is wrong no matter what the reason. And harming another person physically or mentally cannot be tolerated. In order to change the behavior of perpetrator, a therapist or psychiatrist can play an eminent role but in most cases this seems to be the arduous choice of betterment as the abuser refuses to have a mental treatment and becomes more violent.
Consequences of Domestic Violence
Hearing the stories of domestic violence fills my heart with grief and dismay. Utterly the mind begins to think of the ultimate results which are much more alarming and eye opening.
The abuse of the perpetrator results in dysfunctional families which nurture insecurely attached children and rips their peace of mind making them insecure, anxious and intimidated. They lose their strong personalities in this process of father-mother conflict. They yearn for affection and often get off track which earns them more agony.
The one who is abused began to lose thinking and cognitive skills if they continue to bear the pain in silence.
According to Punjab Government brief on gender and pandemic, 50% of women in Pakistan who experience domestic violence do not respond in any way and suffer silently.
Speaking up is must as enduring violence silently will result in amplification of exploitation by abuser. The issue arises when the one who is abused starts pondering upon the negative stigma associated with speaking up. No matter what you do, the society will nitpick and judge you. So do what’s right instead of wondering and fearing what the society will say.
Suggested Action for the Victimized
Being realistic, I know it is daunting for the women to return to their families as they are often refused to be taken back and insisted to adjust despite the ill attitude of their husbands. On the other hand, if the women decide to earn on her own and say no to this domestic abuse, some of them might face an apparent issue of financial instability. For this there are many organizations and NGOs out there who teach skills to women and makes it easy for them to earn for daily living. There is always someone around who is ready to offer the helping hand and there is a way out as Allah Almighty never leaves His men alone.
The option of reporting domestic abuse to the police is always available. But if you feel like keeping your matters private then seek help from someone close who will understand your state as this will make you feel better and light. Never endure the cruelty silently instead stand for yourself as you have to become your own voice. You can shed the gloomy shades of brutality and violence as future holds a ray of light. Grab that light and shed the darkness as you can. Only YOU CAN!!
You are Strong. You are Brave. You are resilient. More power to you!