Stephen Fry an English writer, comedian and actor well said about depression and a depressed person that:
“If you know someone who is depressed please resolve never to ask them why. Depression is not a straight forward response to a bad situation, depression just is , like the weather .Try to understand the blackness, lethargy, hopelessness and loneliness they’re going through. Be there for them when they come through the other side .It’s hard to be a friend to someone who’s depressed , but it is one of the kindest, noblest and best things you will ever do.”
He is really right in his saying that “It’s hard to be a friend to someone who is depressed” but if you got to know about a person who is fighting from the darkness called “depression” either a friend or not, being a kind human being you should go to them and ask them “if they are OK?” or “if they need something?” or “if they want to have little conversation ?” and should not rely on their single “OK”.You must inquire them politely, softly but consistently. Because a depressed person cannot resist your concern for much longer time.
So when the will let you know about themselves , trust their words don’t question their feelings. Listen to them calmly and open-heartedly, because sometimes the situations are even not imaginable and sometimes not even understandable but you have to be patient , listen to them, they may cry, screams out don’t try to stop them from what they want to express . Do not make them feel like if they are weak or pitiable because this can rip them apart.
Once they are done don’t take too long to respond so that they think they have chosen a wrong person to open their heart to. Because a person that killed his/her self-respect and has shown his/her weaknesses is more like an open wound which could be easily get infected from the negligible viruses and could get worst. So more vigilant you are with them they will feel more comfortable with you.
Try to be more observant when you are with that fighter, the fighter of darkness, fighter of lethargy, that would be really helpful to counsel them in a better way, because they will let you know about the things that may sooth them or disturb them more and gestures that seems kind to them. So you just have to pick them up and keep them in your mind whenever you talk to them.
Never ask them about the reasons , try to find them with their help. Because if that fighter may know the reason the battle of the darkness may have not been started.
You have to be persistent and consistent in your kindness because a quick response and some words of sympathy can also be given by a passer-by if someone tells them their story so you have to be more than a passer-by , be a guardian angel. Make them realize that you care about them keep check on them whether they are with you or not. Do text them asking “if they are OK?” or “if they want to talk to you?” because sometimes they may be waiting for your text , that when will you ask them and they will let you know about the storm going inside them. But when they don’t get that message they feel more drowned into that darkness and suffocation.
In some days if you notices them that they are getting down , help them before they asked you because when they beg you for help this makes them feel more worthless.Sometimes just saying “anytime” is not enough you have to be there at any time.
Do not try to advise them, listen more to them, because the darkness in which they are wandering, your advice would be like a stone in their way that can even make them fall down. Be careful about the terms that you are using for them because they have been already labeled and judged by the society.
Try to cheer them up by making them realize that how much important they are for their family and friends , how capable they are. These are actually the candles that can help them to find a way out from that darkness and lethargy.
It is difficult to be the noblest and kindest person in the world , but be the one because world needs more of that . Khawaja Mir Dard has well said about the creation of mankind